Tony's Journal

Index


Tuesday January 22, 2002
Wednesday March 27, 2002
Saturday June 15, 2002
Saturday May 15, 2004
Friday March 25, 2005
Monday April 18, 2005
Tuesday May 3, 2005
Saturday December 3, 2005
Tuesday December 20, 2005
Friday November 03, 2006
Past Journal Entries

Tuesday January 22, 2002

Well, I'm sad that my first entry for the year 2002 is not a positive one. I came home today to find that my apartment had been burglarized. They took my VCR, DVD player, almost all my dvds, all of my cds, video games, basically what was visible in the living room that might pawn well. So I just spent the most of my evening trying to get through all of the initial stuff. Police report, dusting for prints, insurance, etc. My Mom and brother did come by to just be here. I'm thankful for that. It's so ironic (maybe not) that me being a security alarm installer and I didn't have an alarm in my own home. And I've been thinking about it lately. You can be damn sure I'm going to get on top of it now. Horrible when it takes it actually happening to you to make you take the precautions. Well, I would like to write more, but I just can't. Take care everyone. I hope your evening went better than mine. *sigh* Good night and God bless.



Wednesday March 27, 2002

It has been two months since my last entry. As my regular readers know most of my entries are motivated by bad circumstances. Tonight isn't the case. Actually I don't have a major motive to write. I will usually write something because I was somewhat inspired by an event in the day, a dream, or maybe a television show/movie I just watched. I guess I should update my last episode of drama. I am back to feeling normal. Of course I have the alarm firmly in place and monitored. As for my life since then, there really hasn't been very eventful. My brother is in Florida studying scuba diving. I guess he will be like a diving instructor/expert after this. I don't know what the exact term is. Otherwise same as always. I think I was in a sort of slump/darkness after January. I think some of it was the incident, some it being winter, and lastly......who knows. I had no motivation to keep my apartment clean or do anything productive. I do think that is all changing with spring beginning. There are a few things yet that I would like to have. I won't go into my whole rant about looking for love. I am also having aspirations to buy a house. I have about a year and a half to work on that. Funny, I probably shouldn't pour out all of my personal stuff on the internet, but it's almost like talking to someone. I would get into chats but I just get lost in the shuffle of messages. Oh well. I think that should be it for tonight. Thanks for stopping by.



Saturday June 15, 2002

It's been a long time since I last wrote an entry in my journal. I had bad news in my last one. I've gotten through that just fine and have been doing pretty good lately. My biggest news is I'm buying a house. I'll be moving in during July. I'm really excited. Now I have to figure out what to pack right away, when to totally move in, and all sorts of fun stuff. Work is still going well. I have my bad days and good days of course. Man I'm going to be glad to be out of this apartment. Things I won't miss: neighbors who for some reason play their music loud late at night, other people's kids (don't get me started on that one), my car and work vehicle being messed with. On a separate topic, I saw Brandon today. I made a trip to my parents place to drop off a card for my Dad and on taking my usual route home (which happens to go by his parents place) I saw Brandon mowing his parents lawn. Some of my readers are saying to themselves did you stop and talk to him? No, I didn't. Maybe I should have. I kind of wonder if he would want to continue our old friendship, I wonder if he misses me as much as I miss him. He looked different. He's put on some weight. Some muscle, some fat. (No he wasn't shirtless, could just tell.) Oh well, he's still my Brandon. I'm sure I've changed since he last seen me. Well, it's a short entry for tonight. For my close friends I'll send you my new addy after I get moved in. Night and blessed be.



Saturday May 15, 2004

Well, I'll bet people who are reading this thought I died or something. No, I am still around. I just don't use my journal very often. I thought I should write about getting to go see Margret Cho tonight! I haven't laughed that hard in a long time, or seen so many cute guys! A nice row of them sitting right behind our little group. Course they are all these skinny boys who would never be interested in me. I know, here comes the self pity party. After the show everyone was going to the Garden. I really wanted to go. (Although my friends may believe otherwise) After missing the possible turns downtown I thought to hell with it and started home. But about halfway there I decided to turn around and make an effort. Cell phone goes off and I get a warning that they are carding and quite possibly going to hit their occupancy limit. Well, as I drive by, see at least a block long line to get in and no idea of where to park, I finally decide defiantly to hell with it. I was sad though. I really try to be a part of the group, to get out and try to have fun. I'm just too simple. When I got home I changed into some lounge wear, got a lawn chair, a drink and sat out in my back yard enjoying the night. Got a call from my friends wondering where I was. I explained and then decided to write a little in my journal. *sigh* I could have met some guy tonight, but old man Tony took over. So that was my event for the evening, month, whatever. I have some chats popping up so I'll close for now.



Friday March 25, 2005

Yes I am still alive and around. I have made a few changes, as you can see. I had intended to write in my journal a few days ago. During the day at work sometimes we listen to the local talk radio channel, or as I like to call it the Republican channel. The majority of the talk radio hosts are fiercely republican. Anyway they have mostly talked about that Terrie Sheibo mess. That is such a sad situation and her husband should be arrested. Most everything points to him trying to cover something up. Now I didn't pay real close attention or do any research into the bills that congress, the senate, and the president were trying to pass that would save her. I don't know if the bill was just for her or anyone in her situation. I would hope the latter, and unless I am mistaken it didn't get done. Also within the period of all of this we have a 16 year old that shot up his school. What is going on with our world? On some lighter notes, I did start out the week (this past Sunday) feeling good about myself and decided to start shaving again. Now, some who know me know what this is in reference to, for those that don't I am referring (to put it bluntly) to my balls. *gasp, shock* I had shaved that whole area a long while back just to see what it was like. In the end I preferred just having my balls shaved. I think it feels pretty good. As long as we are kind of on the subject, I had an interesting dream last night. At some point in my dream an old friend/lover showed up and we had a really good time in the dream. It was Weaver. Now I hadn't thought of him during the day or anything. I'm still thinking of you if you are reading this. He's probably seeing someone. Well, that is pretty much all I had to say. I am planning on adding some more pages in relation to my gaming. I haven't decided if I will restart the naughty pic page yet. All in due time.



Monday April 18, 2005

Well, this past weekend a good friend of mine invited me to participate in the beta weekend event for GuildWars. So I thought I'd share my opinions on this new game. First off I think that this game has some real potential. The user interface is very simple. Most of the MMORG games coming out now seem to be getting the hint of making the interface simple and customizable. You have 6 professions or as more commonly known as classes. Elementalist, Monk, Ranger, Warrior, Mesmer, and Necromancer. Most of these are pretty self-explanatory. The Monk is the priest or healer profession and the Mesmer is a sort of illusionist. So you login and begin by creating your character. There is only one race so there are lot of clones out there and the customization of your look is only with hair style/color and the facial features. You pick a name and your primary profession. (wait....primary?) Yes, you can have a secondary profession, but I'll get to that in a sec. Now one thing that is really unique is this game downloads content as it happens and when you zone into a new area. So those with dial-up may have some complaints, but I found that the largest download I had was 10Meg and I just used that time to get a snack and use the bathroom. No biggie. The first thing you notice once you get in world is how amazing the graphics are. The detail and lighting are very impressive for being such small downloads. Now you can either solo or group and they have really done well to accommodate the solo player. You have 2 different kinds of zones. The cities or towns are a common area, but when you get out into the actual world you are the only player in the zone if you don't have anyone grouping with you. I know the world is all yours! No kill steals or someone camping that mob you need. Very nice! The quests are usually fairly decent. Mostly go find this or that item/person. You are pointed to your destination by the mini map. A little green arrow points the direction you need to go. Once you are close enough to the destination it shows up as a green splotch on the map. One of the quests you can do is to try out secondary and keep that secondary profession. I ended up doing an Elementalist/Mesmer. Lots of fun with the Mesmer stuff. The only complaint I have on the dual professions is that in the UI you only have 8 slots for your spells. Now you can just pick the ones you like and always have them, but I think that ends up limiting you.

At some point you can "move on" in the story line into the next stage of the world. Some have done this at level 2, I did it at 6. You go into the academy and are I think supposed to be in a PVP situation on two teams. I ended up in a zone all by myself. I waited a bit to see if anyone else pops in. Nothing, so I logged out thinking it was a glitch and then logged back in. When I got back in it downloaded a large bit of data and I found myself in a new zone with a NPC character in a group with me. I figured out that I had to get through a tunnel and beat the mobs. This not only continues the story, but leads you into the next great element of this game. If you are like me and prefer to solo and only group once in a while then you will love this. You can have computer controlled characters grouped with you in the main world. Now you may be saying, that will be problematic because they will go off and do their own thing or aggro everything you pass. Not true. The healer is right there healing whoever needs it. The warrior runs up and starts hacking away at the mob. The AI on this is very well done and thought out. The last thing that I just find almost hard to believe is that this is not going to be a monthly fee to play. That alone is an incentive to buy this game. I think I will add it to my online game collection. Even with a few mechanics issues I personally had in targeting and auto attack I really enjoyed getting the chance to try out a new game and look forward to getting my own copy.

Something of a side note I am still planning on adding pages devoted to my online games. I just haven't taken the time to put them together. Mostly they will show my characters and what servers I play on so people can find me. Also I may have interesting screen shots and stories of encounters and such. Just a matter of doing it.

Here is a link to GuildWars if you are interested.



Tuesday May 3, 2005

I probably would have written this last night, but it was "bedtime" and I was tired. So last night as I do pretty much every night I'm playing one of my online games. This night I am playing WoW (World of Warcraft) with my main character a level 50 rogue. I did some grinding to finish a couple quests, dinged in the process and ended up in Booty Bay. I saw one of my friends was in that area and since I didn't have anything specific in mind to do I offered to help her with anything she may need. She is a 41 hunter. So we formed a group and decided to tackle some of her harder quests. Part of what made it fun for me and so different was that I was for the first time in my online gaming life so far I was the "uber" person on the group. WoW is the first game I have played that I have gotten a character to the upper levels and can help the lower level characters when they need it. Two of the quests we did and succeeded were The Captains Chest and Message in a Bottle. Both are elite quest which means that the person/monster that needs to be killed attacks as if it is at least 10 levels above it's stated level. Basically a "boss" that is/can be very difficult. I was fairly confident we could handle Gorlash who is the sea giant for The Captains Chest. We had one person drop out of our group after that and decided to try for Message in a Bottle. So we made our way to the island worked on clearing the beach of the level 50 gorillas while we waited for a guild mate of mine to join us. I figured we should have at least one other 50+ person since the rest of the group was low 40s. Now if you have never been to the island King Mukla is huge, as in King Kong big. Talk about a great group. My guildie is a 50 warrior, we had a 41 hunter, a 47 priest, and a 41 paladin. We seemed to keep him turning around between me and our warrior along with the paladin hacking away. The hunter had her pet in there and was shooting like crazy. Our poor priest kept getting aggro from the little gorillas but stayed alive and healed us when needed. Soon we dropped the big guy and cleaned up the little ones. Now I had been here before in a group made up of our guild members, but then I barely managed to do much for damage. To be toe to big toe was fun. So with that done we headed back to Booty Bay to repair our armor and figure out what to do next. Upon getting to the road there were Horde attacking some Alliance people on the road. Our warrior jumped right in, next thing I saw was the message that he died. I expressed my sympathy for him, he replied basically help me get revenge and we all jumped in. Now this is the first time I have ever PVP (Player Verses Player) in this game. WOW!!!! My heart was literally racing. I managed to kill three of them and I myself died three or four times. After a while I backed out as did the rest since the undead warlock was hitting us with fear so much and then the others would kill us as we ran around like idiots. So in the end I had a great night in WoW.

I just had to share that. I know I haven't gotten my pages up for my online games. Just me being lazy. With the WoW page I haven't found the images I want and maybe need to create them from screen shots. I have the fankit, but not what I hoped it would be. I have jumped back into EQ2 a few times, but just not enjoying it as much as I had hoped. I have ignored my EQ account, but was thinking this morning I should dust it off again. I did get GW (Guild Wars) and have been playing a bit with it. I am enjoying that so far. Basically been focusing on WoW, I love it a lot. Here are a couple links for you to get a better perspective of my ranting here today.

World Of Warcraft Official Site
Allakhazam World of Warcraft Site

Saturday December 3, 2005

I am coming to discover that I am apparently a horribly person who doesn't deserve love, happiness, or anything else good. I've fallen back into trouble again. All because I truly and honestly care about him. I have willingly handed over $400 on the slim chance I will get paid back, and this is only yesterday and today. Stephen and Dave are right. I need to be committed because I can't apparently think rationally about anything. I guess all I can do is deal with it, put on a happy face, and just be alone. I'm always alone. My friends tell me I need to get out and do things. I just don't know what. I'm being punished for something. I just don't know what. Apparently my trying to be nice, good, and helpful are not enough to allow me to have a good life. If friends or family end up reading this, don't worry that I will try to hurt myself or kill myself. I'm too scared of death to do that anyway. I'll just continue to beat myself up over it. I'll do my best not to take it out on anyone. I wonder what it will be like to be alone for my whole life.



Tuesday December 20, 2005

This weekend was the last straw. I am now in the major negative in my bank account. I have had enough with this guy. No matter what I honestly care about him and care what happens to him, but I have to take care of myself. At least I am not behind like before. At most I may end up being one month behind on my major expenses. I'll have to make some calls tomorrow to make sure everything will work out. I should call the help line that is available through work. Maybe talking to someone other than my friends or family will help even more. I so much want to cry, I feel like it would be a good release. But nothing comes. As for distancing myself I guess I could change my phone numbers as a start. At the very least completely ignore any calls from him at all. I spent most of last night after I got home from yet again waiting outside for him to come back out, thinking about what I can do. I did try calling or sending text messages many times. He either never got them or was ignoring me. Either way is fine. I think I am at a good start to getting better. I probably shouldn't be writing this stuff here, but I'm not even sure anyone reads it anyway. Plus it's good to get my feelings out in some form. OK, back to work.



Friday November 03, 2006

A friend of mine found an actual completely free MMORPG. The game is called Rappelz. I thought I'd give it a try. Apparently we just found it at release. So far I am enjoying the game. The graphics are wonderful for not having to pay for the client or a monthly fee. If you've played Guild Wars the graphics are very similar to that. In fact the interface seems similar too. You have three races to choose from to start with Deva, Asura, and Gaia. Each Race has three classes to chose from. They are some variation of a fighter, mage, and summoner. The race appears to determine more specifically what each class does. You can customize your character using job points to increase the power of various active and passive skills. So far I've only reached level ten and am currently working on the quest that has you move on to your specific class. You start out on the training island and get a good idea of how combat, looting, items, and the job levels and job points work. One thing that takes some getting used to and is not explained in the tutorial is how to move around. Most MMORPGs use the WASD keys for movement, mouse, or both. You get around by point and click.

It actually works fairly well. Left click marks where you want your character to move to. Pathing is luckily better than in Guild Wars and you use the right mouse button to change your camera view. The makers of this game also offer two other games that are free as well. It appears in the other two games they offer the ability to buy items or in game money with real money. Which appears to be how they can offer these games for free. They appear to have low system requirements, a 3D capable video card, and at least a PIII processor. The video card seems to at least need 128M of memory. The game itself takes up about 2Gig of space. A couple other features I haven't mentioned is there are mounts and pets in this game. Mounts can be bought at the training camp for 1,000 rupees, which isn't hard to make. The pets come after level 10, of which I have yet to do. I would have bought a mount but had to save my coin for armor upgrading as part of a quest. You can create guilds and I have yet to look into this. It does appear that you can solo or group according to your style of play. I'm not certain if it can be played on dial-up. I didn't find anything specific on the website about this, but the client installer is just over 1Gig in size and it took a while to download the patches even on a high-speed connection. Overall I would defiantly recommend this game.